I Won't Leave You Alone
by X5-549
Summary: Puck finds himself wanting to be a better man and a better friend to the Gleeks, Kurt is a good place to start. rated M for themes and possible sexiness. I own nothing, written pre-Furt!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

There are times when I feel like there's no reason to keep going on; I'm the only gay guy in this whole town, Rachel and Finn score every solo it seems like no one wants me to have my time to shine and show what I can do. I love being in Glee and I can't believe the friends I have made through it; Mercedes and Artie and Tina, even our resident Cheerios and jocks aren't so bad. I just want my chance to stand in the spotlight, if I hadn't given up the Defying Gravity solo I may have had my chance, but I had to for my dad. I love him, and he's been amazing through everything but he can't deal with the calls that me singing a female solo would cause.

"Mr Schue?" I asked after practice.

"Yeah Kurt, what's up?" Mr Schuester replied in a distracted tone.

"I'm leaving Glee."

"What? Why?"

"I love Glee I really do, and I've made some amazing friends because of it. But the ridicule I face on a day to day basis was never this bad before I joined Glee, I was mostly invisible before besides my daily dumpster dives. I think I'd like to go back to that. The costs are just too great compared to the rewards." I replied.

"Kurt, your voice is an amazing gift, you can't just give it up because of some high school punks. You have so much potential at your finger tips that could lead to so much more." Mr Schue replied.

"My mind is made up Mr Schue, I'm doing this for me and for my family." I turned and walked out of the room never realising that another Glee member had been standing in the office and had heard everything.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_'Kurt was leaving Glee?' _I was in shock. Things just wouldn't seem right having Glee without his flamboyant self complaining about our costumes or Merecedes clothes, or whatever he managed he pulled out next.

Kurt was a fixed point in Glee, hell in the whole SCHOOL, he had taken everything that we had ever thrown at him and he had held his head high and just walked on. If these things were really getting to him the school had seemed to lose a point, like if the north pole suddenly disappeared.

I waited for Mr Schuester to leave before I left the office. I didn't know what to do, did I go after Kurt? did I just leave it be? I couldn't just leave it, Kurt was a good guy no matter how much I picked on him and no matter what I called him.

I made my way outside the janitors giving me funny looks as I walked past them and I made my way to my car, things just didn't seem right. I turned my car on and made my way to Kurt's house. Thankfully I knew where it was after Finn had given us both a lift home one night. His father's car wasn't sitting in the driveway even though he should be home by now. I sat parked outside his house trying to build up the courage to go and knock on his door. I didn't know what to do or say to try and convince Kurt not to leave Glee. I climbed out of my car and locked it before making my way up to his door. I stood on the stoop for a time just trying to lift my hand to knock. I had no real idea what I was doing here or what I was going to say but for some reason I knew I needed to be here.

I knocked on the door wondering how long it would take for Kurt to answer the door but after a few minutes when there was no reply I knocked again louder this time still no answer. I could see his car in the driveway so I knew he was home. Something was off so I tried the door knob which was unlocked, something was really off with that. I looked in the rooms one the main floor calling Kurt's name as I did, but still he couldn't find him. That's when I noticed a set of stairs leading to a basement so I decided to check it out. The room was completely white with no sign of Kurt. I made my way back upstairs and proceeded to the second story of the house. Up there I spotted a door with a decorated sign saying 'Kurt's Room' on it. I approached slowly, when I tried this door it opened just as easily as the front. At first I couldn't see him and I was about to walk out and keep looking for him when he noticed a petite figure curled up in the small gap between his desk and his bookshelf.

"Kurt?" I asked approaching the broken boy.

When I got close enough I spotted a razorblade in his hand. I rushed over to him and began looking for cuts.

"I couldn't do it," came a weak voice. "I was to fucking weak to do it." the use of a curse word Kurt's beautiful voice was enough to snap me out of my panic. I reached into his hand and moved the blade away.

"What's going on Kurt?" I asked lifting him out of his little hidey hole and placing him gently on the bed.

"I want it to end, I don't want to have to deal with this anymore." Kurt said before rolling over and facing the other side of the room.

"Talk to me Kurt, tell me how I can help." I said putting my hand on his shoulder.

His body was shaking like it was cold but when I listened closely I could hear quiet sobs.

"There's nothing you can do Puck, so just leave." Kurt said.

"I'm not leaving you like this. Where's your dad? Shouldn't he be home by now?"

"He's gone to stay with his parents for a little while. To recover without distracting me from school he said."

A/N1: I own nothing

A/N2: let me know if you want me to continue this story or if there are any major problems with the story.

Reviews are love even flames


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Come on let's get you something to eat." Puck said as he lifted Kurt off the bed and carried him down to the kitchen.

"Why did you come here Puck?" Kurt asked Puck sat him on the breakfast bench.

"I heard you talking to Mr Schue and I knew something was wrong, so I came over to talk to you." Puck replied as he rummaged in the refrigerator for something to make Kurt to eat, he had noticed how light Kurt was when he was moving him around.

"Why?" Kurt asked. "It's not like we're friends, so why bother?"

"I dunno, I guess you giving up something you love because of all the shit we put you through it just meant it was getting to you more than it had ever seemed. You always walked off head held high no matter how many dumpsters we dropped you in made you a fixed point. Nothing seemed to bring you down and I guess seeing you down just wasn't right." Puck was making some cheese and ham sandwiches for him and Kurt to eat.

"Listen, this is nice of you and all, but you should go." Kurt said hoping off the bench.

"What if I don't want to Kurt?" Puck said approaching Kurt.

"You have to go." Kurt said backing away from the huge figure that was Noah Puckerman. Suddenly I had now where else to go, I was backed against a wall and Noah was boxing me in with his arms. "What are you doing?"

"You, Kurt are an amazing person," Puck said leaning in closer to him. Their faces were scant inches apart, Kurt was staring at Puck with a mix of horror, fear and lust in his eyes.

"What are you doing?" Kurt asked leaning back as much as possible.

Puck leaned in more until their lips were millimetres apart. Kurt's breath caught in his throat, Puck was so close, he could feel his breath brushing over his lips gently.

"Do you want this Kurt?" Puck asked their lips brushing as Puck spoke.

Kurt didn't know what to think, there was no denying that Puck was hot. That was an acknowledged fact of the whole school, but as far as he knew Puck was 100% straight.

"We can't do this Puck," Kurt replied struggling to keep his voice steady.

"Why not? Neither of us is dating anyone so it's not like we'd be cheating on anyone. So why can't I have you?" Puck asked nuzzling into Kurt's neck.

"Because Noah Puckerman is as straight as an arrow, Noah Puckerman like cougars NOT teenaged guys from his high school who he throws in dumpsters. You're doing this out of pity or some other stupid reason and I'm not going to let that happen. So you need to back away from me right now, get in your car and go home." Kurt said again trying to push Puck away from him.

"Kurt whether I kiss you or not I'm not leaving. I found you curled up with a razorblade in your hand, so whether you like it or not I'm staying to make sure you don't do something stupid. Friends look out for friends." Puck replied backing away from Kurt but still keeping him trapped between the wall and his body.

"I don't want you here Puckerman. Get out of my house."

"Would you prefer I called Mr Schue and told him what you were trying to do? Or your dad?" Kurt's eyes widened to amazing proportions.

"No don't tell my dad, please it'd crush him. You can't tell my dad he'd blame himself. Oh God please don't tell my dad, I'll do whatever you want just please don't tell my dad."

"Take a breath Kurt. I want you to sit down and eat something alright." It scared Puck how Kurt had replied to him threatening to tell his dad. He moved so Kurt could get to the bench where the sandwiches sat, and he dug in like he was terrified that if he didn't eat he would be shot. "Calm down Kurt, just relax a bit you're going to choke eating like that." Puck gently put his hands on Kurt's shoulder and started to massage them a little trying to help him relax.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Kurt asked when he was half through his sandwhich.

"Why wouldn't I be? You're a great singer and...I don't think we can win Nationals without you. As much as I'll deny this if it's ever repeated, I really enjoy singing in Glee." Puck replied.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Kurt finally went to sleep. I was leaning against the wall in his room thinking over everything, my main concern was what would have happened if I had been any later getting to his house or anything, the fact that he was curled up like that had scared me out of my socks. If I had taken any longer in my car or at the door he may have done something irreversible. If Mr Schue had taken any longer heading out Kurt could've died. _'What am I supposed to do? I don't know how to deal with depression. Maybe I should call Mr Schue. No, I can't do that Mr Schue will call his father and Kurt would be destroyed over that.'_ I spent the night going over and over and over all of my options to try and help Kurt. I didn't know anyone else who could help, none of my friends would know what to do and the other Glee kids wouldn't believe me if I asked for their help.

I tried closing my eyes but every time I managed to get to sleep I woke up from dreams of bloody knives and Kurt's lifeless eyes.

The sun rose as I stared at Kurt trying to get the haunting images of my dreams out of my head. Thankfully it was Saturday and there was no school so it didn't matter that I looked as terrible as my night of sleep. I made my way downstairs and put the coffee pot on to work.

I heard an alarm clock go off up in Kurt's room and Kurt's annoyed groan. It brought a small chuckle from my throat that even Kurt hated getting up in the morning. The coffee pot beeped and Puck poured two cups and carried them upstairs. As he reached the top of the stairs he heard a shower running and entered Kurt's room. The place looked so different in the light, when I first entered his room I didn't really notice anything and during the night everything seemed so gloomy and creepy, but in the dawn light and being able to see everything. It screamed Kurt, the wardrobe was huge and the pictures that were covering the walls were all of people on stages.

I sat his cup of coffee down on the desk on the coaster that was there. Everything was neat and tidy except for beside his bedside table, everything had been pulled out and dumped on the floor. Puck realised that this must be where Kurt had kept his blade. Puck realised he had no idea if there were any others in his room, or how to help Kurt, or what to do to help him. Puck leaned against the desk and stood sipping his coffee. Waiting for Kurt to finish his shower so they could talk, Puck had no idea what he was going to do or say but he knew that he and Kurt needed to talk about what was going on with him.

Kurt entered his bedroom wrapped in nothing but a towel. Scars littered most of his body; his legs, his arms, his torso. There seemed to be no part of that beautiful skin unmarked. Not only were there scars on his body but he had bruises all over his stomach, and back. When he looked up and saw me he just about jumped out of his skin.

"Please don't look at me," Kurt said and went over to his closet and stepped inside.

"Kurt we have to talk about this, all of this."

"I don't want to talk about it Noah, I just don't want to talk about anything." Kurt replied from inside the closet.

"Well that's too bad Kurt because we are going to talk about this; you're going to explain to me why you've been cutting yourself. Then you're going to tell me where the hell you got those bruises. Then we are going to figure out what we can do about it."

"You can't do anything Noah; I just need to be left alone."

"Is this about throwing the high F for Defying Gravity?" I asked as he stepped out of the wardrobe causing him to trip over his own feet.

"What? I didn't throw it, I couldn't hit it." Kurt replied picking up the coffee off his desk and taking a sip, he sighed. "Perfect."

"I heard you practicing the song. You hit the note, so I know you threw it. What I can't work out is why you threw it. Were you scared you wouldn't be able to handle it on the day?"

"I knew I would be able to handle it. But my dad couldn't have handled the trouble that it would've caused." Kurt put the cup down and began cleaning up the mess in front of his bedside table.

"You mean your dad doesn't like you singing?" I asked sitting my cup down and bending down to help him clean up.

"No, when we had the little diva-off my dad got a call from someone telling him I was a fag. He knew I was gay I had told him just after that first football game I played in. He said he'd known since I was I three. But that one call shook him to his core. If I had hit the note and gotten the lead the calls would have just gotten worse and I couldn't put him through that. Especially now, any stress on his heart could cause another heart attack and I won't have any part in him ending up back in hospital."

"So you sabotaged yourself to make him happy, you ruined your happiness for his."

"I couldn't do that to him." Kurt said sitting back on his heels. "I have to take care of him, I'm all he has left."

"So why were you going to kill yourself? Why have you been hurting yourself if you're all he has left?"

"What is this? Guilt me into something? I wasn't thinking straight, I love my dad but I just want to be invisible at the school. I don't want patriotic wedgies or dumpster dives or slushy facials. I just want to go to classes and go home and work in the shop. Besides he has Finn and Carole now."

"Kurt I'm not trying to guilt you into anything. I just want you to understand that what you were going to do is not an option."

"What would you know about it? What would you know about being hated by the entire town, one of the two people who actually loved you dying because of you?"

"My dad, before he left, used to beat me whenever something went wrong. When he bet money at the dog races and lost it, somehow it was my fault and he beat me. I used to watch him go from me to my mum beating on whichever he was more annoyed with. That's what I know."

"Oh god. I didn't know, I'm sorry."

"It happened a long time ago. What happened to you? Who did you lose?"

"My mum, she was coming to pick me up from, you're going to laugh, football practice. She had gotten caught up at work and was running late and some guy ran a red light. She lingered in hospital until the coach drove me there, she said she loved me and then she died. I was eight when I watched my mother die."

Puck just wrapped his arm around Kurt and held him gently as Kurt cried quietly into his shoulder.

"Kurt it wasn't your fault. Some asshole hit her and killed her, you didn't get her killed."

"If I hadn't been at practice..."

"NO Kurt! It is not your fault." Puck said lifting Kurt up and sitting on the bed with him cradled in his arms. Kurt just sat and cried holding on to Puck to he was the only thing holding him onto the world.

Puck put his fingers under Kurt's chin and raised his face to look at him. "I'm going to take care of you Kurt." Puck said and gently pressed his lips to Kurt's forehead.


End file.
